


Customer Service

by therune



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:28:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3865207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therune/pseuds/therune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>originally written for the kinkmeme:<br/>Merlin undercover in IT hell</p>
            </blockquote>





	Customer Service

Merlin was glad that he was bald. Otherwise he would have torn out whatever hair he had left. There was a reason he like being the handler, liked being behind a tablet screen and miles away from the action. Of course he was a highly trained agent, he could do field work. But since a) he hated it and b) he was more useful in his current position, there was no need.  
Until they had needed an agent with his skills, which meant that he was wearing an orange polo shirt, khaki pants and a name tag identifiying him as "Hi, my name is Don". Thank god for his self-restraint, otherwise he would have murdered someone on his first day.  
He hated working at the tech booth of the mega-discounter, but needs must. "A gentleman is ever patient," Galahad's voice sounded in his mind. Heh. For all of his restraint and poise, he was positive that Galahad would have murdered the girl trying to trade a purposefully damaged ipod for a newer model. Galahad was the perfect picture of a gentleman, until someone pissed him off. And nothing did that more than willful ignorance and the insistence of being right when one was utterly stupid.  
So, 'Don' had sent the girl after his manager and didn't harm a single soul.

But he was sorely tempted when Galahad strolled into the store. Galahad was undercover as well, supplying Merlin with intel and bringing him stolen phones and other devices. Merlin would 'fix' them by replacing them with an identical model, filled to the brim with Kingsman spyware. Then Galahad would bring the devices back to their owner who were non the wiser.  
No part of Galahad's cover demanded that he act like a dense moron whose sole hobby was to annoy Merlin, but then, Galahad had always been creative.  
"Hi, I'm Don from the Tech Squad, how may I help you?" he greeted Galahad. His tone was polite, his posture friendly, his eyes spelled murder.  
"Hi," Galahad drawled in an accent so removed from his crisp tones that it nearly gave Merlin linguistic whiplash, "I'm having trouble with my phone. Can you help me?"  
"Let's take a look then."  
Galahad or Mr Summers pulled out a smartphone with a bedazzled pink case.  
"What seems to be the problem?"  
"The memory, I think. My contact list is incomplete."  
"Do you know what exactly is missing?"  
"Your number."  
Merlin looked at Galahad with a sour expression.  
Galahad winked and draped his arms over the counter.


End file.
